Today is my 27th birthday, and I treat my birthday like others would treat New Years: I am reflective of the year gone by, I am looking forward to the new year ahead, and I am absolutely in the mood for an abundance of drinks, food, and the company of loved ones.
This past year was not only about changes, but accepting that change can come quickly, unexpectedly, and often. New beginnings were always positive changes, like moving downtown into an amazing apartment and starting an exciting new position. But when there were peaks, you can bet there were also valleys. I struggled a hell of a lot with the relationships in my life and I was put through difficult situations that were stressful, tiring, and all-consuming. It affected my desire to blog; I lost the confidence that I could create anything of substance and I was in constant state of comparing myself to others. There were never enough collaborations, never enough Instagram posts with the perfect lighting, and never enough carefully curated outfits to paint the picture I desperately wanted to convey as a blogger.
I am constantly changing because I get bored. The mindset that I had to get into was to deal with things as they came, instead of moving into the next big change as quickly as possible. I was leaving a lot of unresolved things behind instead of facing them head-on. This went hand-in-hand with blogging as well; I had to remember why I loved it, why I wanted to do it and the impact I wanted to make on the community instead of giving up and moving on. I had to think long and hard about my blog, and settled on the notion that I no longer want my compulsion to be driven by the “How much can I get out of this?” but more by the “What can I contribute to this?” instead. The affordability and sustainability of fashion (which I’m finding can clash very, very much) has always been a driving force of what I do as a blogger, and I have big plans for what I want to do with it (very, very soon!).
This next part is going to sound cliche as hell, but I have to say it: I have an amazing support system of wonderful people who helped me through it. People who listened and sympathized and encouraged me to keep doing what I love. And while I continue my journey to gain more clarity around what that exactly entails, I am eternally thankful and blessed for the people and opportunities that make it possible.
Now hand me that flight of wine, it’s been a looong year!